Join the aristocracy – become a Scottish Laird, Lord or Lady!

I recently ran across website that says for £29.99 ($47.74) one can become a 'real' titled laird of Scotland. Given that my maternal family are Blackwoods and came from Scotland, I thought what a great novelty to have hanging in my study (whenever I get a study...). I'm an American, and its not like I can bear a title and be all haighfalutin anyway, so what harm could it do?

[Note: Try as I might, I am not an expert in my family's history. If I say something below that is incorrect, you would be my friend in pointing it out to me.]

Join the aristocracy – become a Scottish Laird, Lord or Lady!:
Have you ever dreamt of being a member of the aristocracy? Of having an impressive title before your name? Well, here is your chance. For only £29.99 we can provide you with a perfectly legal hereditary title and ownership of land in Scotland. 

According to old Scots law and custom a landowner is granted the right to use the title ‘Laird’ and female landowners are styled as ‘Lady’. Some male Lairds choose instead to use the more well-known English translation ‘Lord’. Scottish Lairds are members of the lower aristocracy and historically held feudal rights under the crown. In the table of precedence a Laird ranks above an Esquire and directly below a Baron. 

By purchasing a plot of land on the Blackwood Estate in Scotland you will acquire the right to style yourself Laird, Lord or Lady of Blackwood. At the same time you will contribute to the preservation of Loch Wood, one of Scotland’s few remaining native woodlands. What better way to start your new life as a member of the aristocracy than to embrace your own favourite charity? 

As Laird, Lord or Lady of Blackwood you will also be granted the exclusive right to wear the Blackwood coat-of-arms and tartan, that may not be used by others than the rightful owners of land on the Blackwood Estate. The coat-of-arms will look very impressive on your stationery and business cards. We also provide various aristocratic accessories imprinted with the Blackwood coat-of-arms in our webshop.

As a member of the elevated classes you may wish to take up other Scottish lordly pursuits, such as wearing the kilt, fishing for salmon or even playing the bagpipe if the fancy takes you! And do not be surprised if your new title brings about some added perks, like plane upgrades and other preferential treatment. It’s been known to happen. The Lairdship Portfolio will also make a perfect gift for someone special.

Buy land on the Blackwood Estate and commence your new life of entitlement today!

Below is a map of the location of the property one could buy a plot in.


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A few things seemed out of place to me. First off, it's my understanding that the Blackwoods were a sept of the lowlands Douglas Clan. There were noble Blackwoods that have been recorded in history, but in Scotland and Northern Ireland, which seems to have been a layover, at least for my ancestors, on their way to America. There are no claims to a Blackwood Clan on this site, but it wanted to make the point clear.

Next is the 'coat-of-arms'. Per the Court of the Lord Lyon:

There is a widespread misconception that a family or a clan can have a family or clan Coat of Arms. Many heraldic and clan web sites and other media suggest that a person has the right to use the family or clan Arms. This is completely incorrect.

Third on the hit list is the tartan. Per the Scottish Tartans Authority this tartan was:

Designed for the exclusive use of the owner and the souvenir plot owners of Loch Wood on the Blackwood Estate Lanarkshire.

So what one has a right to are the corporate arms and tartan of an entity stood up to sell titles to parcels of land and other branded merchandise that looks heraldic. So what about the 'title'? Can a trifle like £29.99 be all it takes to be ennobled? Maybe hundreds of years ago before mass inflation debased the pound. I would wager that one would be hard pressed to get a meal at an upscale restaurant for that amount. The Telegraph had an article back in 2004 on this topic, although the land in question was in
Glencairn. From the article:

The Court of the Lord Lyon, which deals with heraldic matters and coats of arms in Scotland, said the Glencairn title - like the many others on offer - was "meaningless".

A spokesman said: "We have had countless inquiries. The title Laird of Glencairn would only apply to the owner of the entire estate, if it exists, not to those buying square-foot portions of it."

It was decided five years ago that the sale of such plots would not be recorded in the national register of Scotland, and therefore there is no proper legal record of the miniature land sales.

Critics say the adverts wrongly claim the word laird - Scots for landowner- is interchangeable with lord. But it simply means landowner, whether titled or not.

A website mentioned in the article also has some interesting information if you'd like further reading.

So back to the idea of what harm it could do. For one thing, it diminishes the value of the titles of true Lords and Ladies. It makes a mockery of an institution of British heritage, which you don't have to be British to admire. I know in the modern world we are all equal and there is no such thing as privilege, and the system of nobility was undermined (for the most part) nearly a century ago, but it is a matter of principle. There are still noble families that have maintained their holdings for hundreds of years. I don't think they are or were God's elect, but they for better or worse helped shape the course of the nations of the United Kingdom. And there have been legitimate purchases of titles in the past, but they cost a wee bit more than £29.99, and they didn't come from a private corporation.

Therefore, despite my draw to the novelty of it, I don't think I will become Lord Blevins of Blackwood, lest I become the laughingstock of my family and an embarrassment to all who know me.